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Thick Skin

by Audrey Ryan

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1.
Walking down a cold and lonely street in London town. Feeling lost and lonely for the kind of love I haven’t found// I can see I can see my loneliness oh my I can see. I can see. Sitting here so lost and lonely feeling that it’s only my to feel. Mine to feel/ Walking down a dark and dreary street in New York town. Feeling lost and lonely for the kind of dreams I haven’t found//
2.
Wherever you are, wherever you are, just think of me on the trapeze then it won’t seem bizarre. Wherever you are stuck in your car just turn on the radio this ladio isn’t so far away// Maybe it’s hard to know we’ll just wait and see, but say something beautiful forever to me/Wherever you are, wherever you are, just think of me like a moonbeam gonna land on your star. Wherever you are stuck in a bar raise your glass cause it won’t last I’ll be back there, I’ll be back there tomorrow// Coming home on a jetplane maybe it won’t rain you know I’ve come so far meet me at gate C at the airport/.//./
3.
Send the flood send the flu do whatever you can do. First it rains then it pours brace before it comes some more.//Cause I need the blues to sing my song to get along. Cause I need the blues to fuel the flame to play the game/ I don’t need anything til the phone no longer rings. And if you leave, when you go leave me just as low as low.//.
4.
Thick Skin 04:39
// I’m gonna count to five I’m gonna live my life because I have to. I’m gonna grow thick skin so when I do not win it won’t hurt me, no it won’t hurt me./ Well holding what’s mine keep my creatures in line it won’t do. Spinning my wheels sometimes forget how to feel except blue. If I had my way I’d go back maybe try something new. But time isn’t kind cast my dreams for a line it’s so true. //. Holding the line spinning memories in time I get blue. Turning my wheels feeling locked at the heels nothings new. If they had their way they’d just drive us all day to the bone. Locked in the grind pay your rent on time, just get by. //.
5.
Way I Am 03:46
// I’m sorry for the way I am, it’s just the way I am, well I am just the way I am./ And the leaves on the trees are falling it scares me away til the day that it’s calling and I loose my way, no way, no way, I’ll go where the wind blows me.//. And my life is like a bird that flying away from it’s cage cause the doors been broken apart from it’s zoo, who knew? Who knew? Just can’t belong to you. //.
6.
Nostalgia 05:47
Trying hard to overcome nostalgia. The alleyways of my mind left open to wander hotel rooms with pink wallpaper all night diners, shag carpet and vinyl.//Sometimes I can’t see with my eyes open years pass like dreams waking to wonder where they there? All the mystique of experience never materializes in the moment it all floods back in time unexpected when you thought you didn’t care. //. Chlorine-eyed in summer camps chicken coop backyards, cat up a tree the crescent windows of our battered farmhouse the frozen pond on a hill. //. Politics of the popular she was so cool with her name brands jeans rolled up high all us liars of insecurity the shattered glass spread, finger dangling. //.
7.
Dangeling 05:49
It all began with a space simple and pure. When humans came the land withdrew a race had reigned. The Roman Empire, colonization, city on this hill. It all became a war for space a divided plane. // All the world is just dangeling. And all the space well it’s just changing. Boys and girls in their little worlds and the big ball spins./It all began with a space with the land. And time has past a divine plane. The mountains will tumble the sea will boil, or that’s what they say. The day we’re born we’re scheduled to die.//.
8.
Four Blocks 05:56
Four blocks on either side my old lovers surround me reminding of the mess I made two years ago and last week, Da de da de da de de da now I don’t want to live next to you. //And all these lives are forgotten like time capsules when everything them was true, yes everything once new all these lives are forgotten I dug a hole but I still see you, I still see you./Four blocks on either side I lived a life once with you we used to walk to the coffeeshop down the hill hand in hand, it’s true Da de da de da de de da now I don’t want to live next to you. //. Four blocks on either side my whole life surrounds me the coffeeshop, the supermart, my local bar, and the gym Da de da de da de de da now I don’t want to live next to you. //.
9.
Easy 02:56
Well I like to have fun and stick out my tongue cause life isn’t easy but it’s a whole lot better than none you tell everyone that your youth isn’t over. //One, two, three, four, five it helps me feel alive. Sounds are better off sung the heart and the tongue make a song that is easy, you age and you’re done if you don’t hang on tight. //. Cause if you’re open I am open, it is open, nothing’s broken, unless it’s broken, is it broken? Makes you feel right, if it’s alright, is it alright? Cause we’re open and nothing’s broken, it is open, it is open. Well I like to have fun and stick out my tongue cause life isn’t easy.
10.
If You Go 04:04
Pack up your bags make your big exit. Am I your friend or just your rival? Whose gonna care if you don’t make it? Whose gonna cry if you can’t fake it? // If you go, if you go, if you go away from here. /Strung out on drama always half crazy. Where are those pills that make you feel normal? Where is that guy that you used to love? Stop breaking his heart he just wants to hold you. //. When you move south please loose my number. But I wish you all, all life can muster. I hope you find friends, friends that can listen. So they can help with your indecision. //.

credits

released March 5, 2011

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Audrey Ryan Boston, Massachusetts

Multi-instrumentalist, one-man-band, looping, singer-songwriter.

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